Your Divorce GPS

Old Postings Gone

I'm re-vamping and updating my blog. Maybe it's like cleaning out my closet-making room for new things and getting rid of old things. Also, finding out that the divorce rate is inching toward 60% impacting lots of people is spurring me on.

I've been divorced twice-each time children were involved- first time in 1989 and second time 2005. Those dates were the official years when the decrees were recorded. But you and I know that lots led up to those dates. For some of the time I felt like I had power and something to say about how things went- afterwords I discovered missing pieces and things I wish I'd done differently.

Whoever you are and wherever you are in the divorcing process, I feel for you and where you may find yourself. I hope that sharing my experiences and years of education and helping others, will help you make decisions and create a new life out of this experience- a life you have designed and are living.

I'm right, they're wrong!

O.K. so you are certain that you are right about (fill in the blank)? 

Maybe you are right, maybe you aren't. The real question is, does it really matter? Does being right make you any happier? Does being right get you what you want? I imagine you think it does.
Well, what does that get you? Can you communicate any better with your EX if you are right? If you have kids, are they applauding your "rightness", do they sleep better at night with that knowledge? Will your bank account look any bigger, or your future any brighter?

One of my mentors, Terry Real, asked this question and shook my roots with it. I never thought about whether being "right" got me anywhere. It is a great question to ask, does being right gain me anything here?

Attorneys may have the right answers for the law of divorce, at least an interpretation for the right answers. Judges may have to make weighty decisions about property and custody, but I wonder if the law and it's practitioners are what really makes the difference to our happiness? Maybe it has more to do with TRUST; trust of ourselves, trust in the professionals we hired to help us.   Maybe it has more to do with what you want out of the divorce.

Have you asked yourself is there a win/win in this? Asking the question,"does my being right get me anything" is a great place to hang out when thorny issues arise.

If you are interested in delving into the question of -is my being "right" getting me anywhere?  If you would like to feel that you are moving toward your dreams with a map/plan, not away from them.  Receive a complimentary strategy session- email me on the front page at EMAIL ME.